1000 Miles Away

#206

Friend,

Watching a loved one suffer is the hardest thing, except for one thing.

Being unable to watch a loved one suffer because you are 1000 miles away.

Helplessness is one of the worst human experiences. When you have the will to help but lack the capacity to help, and someone is suffering, it’s miserable. Everything in you wants to make a difference, to alleviate, but you are stuck merely praying.

Now, I say merely praying, not because I don’t believe in the efficacy of one’s prayer, but because praying doesn’t feel the same as sitting in a hospital room, mowing a yard, or baking a casserole. All of those actions are both helpful and consume your anxious energy.

You can’t hug them, sit with them, or see their face to know what their text messages aren’t telling you.

You can’t help but feel disconnected because your body is in Oklahoma, but your heart and mind are in Tennessee. How do you go to work, go to the store, or go to sleep like normal when normal is impossible?

Few things drain your soul like the weariness caused by the devastating duo of suffering and helplessness.

I wish I had a clever ending for you, a phrase to hold onto, or an action to take. I wish I had something, but alas, all I can say is to keep merely praying, because God clearly hears your disjointed prayers for mercy, no matter how many miles away you are.

Love,

Aaron