Grief IS a Language

#86

Friend,

“Grief isn’t (necessarily) a journey. Grief IS a Language.” John Onwuchekwa

I can’t stop thinking about these words.

John continues by saying, “The goal of a language isn’t FINISHING, it’s FLUENCY.’

And now, I’m rethinking the many times that I’ve told people that “grief is a journey,” because as he notes the nature of a journey is that it has a beginning and end. While grief has a beginning, it doesn’t necessarily have an end.

Some of us are objective-oriented, and if we set out on this “Journey of Grief” (with the objective: stop being “sad”, then we will exhaust ourselves trying to find the end. It would be like running a race, where the finish line keeps moving further and further and further. Eventually, anyone will scream in frustration and agony.

However, if we understand that grief is a language, we can continue to learn new words, phrases, and idioms for what we and others are experiencing. We can become more confident in understanding where our emotions are today because we understand the structure and syntax of grief for us.

And we can help others. John goes on to say,

“You desperately need SOMEONE (or someone’s) with a fluency in this language of grief to remind you of 3 truths.

1. You're not crazy.

2. You’re not alone.

3. You’re human.”

Love,

Aaron

P.S. I’m so thankful to have read John Onwuchekwa’s words on Twitter. He’s working on a book Grief is a Language: Finding the Right Words When There Are None. You can read the Twitter thread here.