Friend,
A pastor (Fred Craddock) once said, “Until you have stood for years knocking at a locked door, your knuckles bleeding, you do not really know what prayer is.”
Well, you know what prayer is. That pain that you have been living with for months or years is not any better. And you’ve prayed. Man, have you prayed. You prayed and wept alone in your room. You prayed and wept in a full sanctuary. You prayed and wept in your car outside another doctor’s office.
And maybe it seems that not only do you have your chronic pain, but you also have calloused and blood-stained knuckles now. The only thing heavier than your chronic pain is your chronic disappointment in a God who apparently either does not care for you or is busy with other urgent matters that people are praying for like parking spots or sporting events.
Because if God cared about you, then God would do something for you. God seems to care about other people. You’ve heard a story about someone healed by this medicine (but not you). You’ve heard a story about someone healed at this altar (but not you).
So I imagine that you are wondering, “What am I doing wrong?" or “Am I knocking on the wrong door?”
I want you to know that while I have theological answers, and maybe there is a day to share those, today there is a chair to sit and rest in, while I knock for you. Here is some ice for your knuckles, I’ll do the knocking for you. Have some water for your throat, I’ll scream for you, “Is anyone home?”
How can I knock on God’s door for you today? How can I intercede and stand in the gap for your weary heart?
Love,
Aaron