Rule No. 1
#179
Friend,
Rule number 1: Nobody likes to be surprised.
When I look back at situations where people had strong initial, negative emotional reactions, maybe only 25% were to the content, and 75% were to the fact that they didn’t see it coming.
You get the phone call that your healthy dad has had a heart attack.
You are stopped at a light, and someone rear-ends you.
You go into work one Tuesday, completely unaware it’s your last day.
Being blindsided is no fun.
You are thrown off or discombobulated. It’s a jolt that disorients you for a few seconds. Your mind and body are trying to process it.
You are embarrassed. Somebody knew something that you didn’t, and you feel like you are being observed.
You feel foolish. You begin to wonder what you missed. You feel like an idiot who couldn’t put 2+2 together.
The crazy thing is that all three of those can be true even if the news you were told is good news! If someone tells you their cancer tests came back benign, and you didn’t even know they had had a biopsy, then you’ll feel the same way initially.
So, use your turn signal.
Seriously, nobody likes to be surprised on the road. A turn signal indicates to the drivers behind you, “Something is changing!”
And in life, use your turn signal. Indicate to people that something might change before it changes. My counselor has taught Heather and me that using a good preface is a great way to soften the shock, so that the content is key. Even something as simple as, “This is important to me, are you at a good place to listen?” is a turn signal that indicates something is about to happen.
Love,
Aaron
Thank you!🙏