The Basic Pattern of a Wounded Heart
#207
Friend,
Pain —> Coping Behavior —> Shame —> More Pain (Repeat)
This is the basic pattern of a wounded heart.
Pain- something happens, and you hurt.
Coping Behavior- (Alcohol, Porn, Overwork, Technology) distracts and numbs you from the pain.
Shame- Your unhealthy coping strategy causes shame, either from what it is or what it prevented you from doing.
More Pain- That shame reignites more pain, or something else happens, and you repeat the cycle.
Pain —> Acknowledgment —> Community —> Grace —> (Repeat)
This is the basic pattern of a healing heart.
Pain- something happens, and you hurt.
Acknowledgment- You recognize and befriend your pain (“Hello, grief.”)
Community- You bring your pain to God and to others who see and embrace you.
Grace- You receive grace through wisdom, forgiveness, care, etc.
In the great book, Healing What’s Within, Chuck DeGroat has a little prayer that can help you with your acknowledgment and to hold back your shame. Let me share it with you.
“I am not my ______________ (addictive tendency). I am simply coping right now by ___________ (name the way you are coping). This isn’t who I am; it’s just the way I am dealing with my pain right now. At my core, I’m loved by God and created for worth, belonging, and purpose.”
Love,
Aaron