The Merry-Go-Round: A Parable

#137

Friend,

Maddie was the only one left on the Merry-Go-Round, and her overzealous dad kept spinning her. Seconds lasted the same, but they were experienced differently. In a way, she saw everything, and yet also saw nothing. Her friends were blurs who seemed to be moving on, while she went nowhere rapidly. Maddie was spending all her energy holding it together, that she couldn’t even imagine moving forward.

Finally, her dad stopped spinning it, but she kept spinning for a while. The toy was slowing down but her mind wasn’t. When everything finally stopped, the dizziness kicked in. She knew how to walk, but she couldn’t manage to take a step without stumbling.

Maddie looked around for her friends, but they had all moved on to different things. Sophia was at the swings, Belinda seemed to be playing tag with another group of friends, and Jennifer—well, she couldn’t seem to find her at all amongst the spinning slides and blurry faces. For that moment, and that moment felt a lot longer than most moments, she was alone.

Maddie closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and waited.

The Parable Explained:

As a Pastor, I’ve had the privilege of doing a fair amount of funerals, and the period of time between the death and the funeral is like Maddie’s experience on the Merry-Go-Round. There is activity all around you, so many people are just going on with life as normal, but you are also caught up in a swell of activity. Decision fatigue is a real thing when planning a funeral. When will it be? Who’s speaking? Where is Aunt Sue going to sleep? What should I wear? What should they wear? It’s dizzying and overwhelming.

Often we can try to hold it together between the death and the funeral because we are trying to be strong for everyone else, but then the funeral is over and we can’t see straight. And we look around at other people who have dared to move on with their life, and we cannot take a step without falling.

It can be infuriating to see others happy, when we are sad, even if we want them to be happy. Grief has a strange way of impacting all of us.

The best thing Maddie did was close her eyes, take a deep breath, and wait. She knew that while the dizziness was overwhelming at the moment, it would not be like this forever. So she settled her mind before venturing forward. Often the only thing to do to go forward is to do nothing intentionally.

If you are in grief, allow yourself the space you need to breathe, to be still, and to miss out.

Love,

Aaron