The New Neighbor: A Parable

#143

Friend,

The new neighbor moved in. She seemed nice enough, but something seemed off. We went on as neighbors do: waving when we worked in the garden, forgetting each other’s name, giving the other the occasional misdelivered mail, and wondering what was going on with the other.

I really met the new neighbor a few weeks later. One of the kids had thrown the ball over the fence, and she refused to throw it back. She yelled and said it landed in her garden, and nobody could step on it right now because she had just planted something. We never saw that ball again.

The new neighbor always had her curtains closed. She installed more security cameras than any other house in the neighborhood, and an eight-foot fence soon replaced the six-foot privacy fence.

The message was clear: Do not get close to me.

I tried to ignore her, but she dropped a note in our mail asking me to keep my leaves from blowing into her yard (as if I controlled the wind), keep my kids quiet at 8:30 p.m. (as if I controlled my kids), and keep our cat from hopping the fence into her backyard (as if I controlled my cat). It was the most passive-aggressive note that you could imagine.

The message was even clearer: Stay away from me.

But then, one day, the storm came, knocking down trees and knocking out power. Everyone came out of their homes and into the street to see what we needed. Her giant tree had fallen across her driveway and into my yard, so I asked if I could use my chainsaw to clear the tree away. She nodded her head, and she went back inside.

The neighborhood got to work, and after a few hours the power came back on, the tree was cut up and removed, and she came out with lemonade and cookies for the neighborhood.

I embarrassedly told her I hadn’t remembered her name, and she told me, “People call me Anger, but my real name is Grief.”

The Parable Explained:

We are the new neighbor in this story. A great change happens, and we are forced to move into a new neighborhood, and all we want to do is protect ourselves. We want to be secure, to get our lives in order, but little things from the outside become big things for us, so we try to be even more secure.

However, eventually, we need to let someone in, and when we let someone in (chainsaw and tree) then we realize that there are people for our good. We realize that we need other people. We open ourselves up to other people, even if it is just for a little bit.

The ending is based on the quote, “I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.” I heard this quote years ago, and it continues to be true in my heart, and in my observation of others. Anger is often our sadness striking out because of real and perceived loss. Here at the end, the neighbor is let in, and she finishes by letting us into her story by giving us her nickname and her real name.

Love,

Aaron

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