You Are Not That Powerful
#102
Friend,
Fall has officially begun, and we are entering into the most intense season (it’s hard to believe that after everything that has happened) of our 2024 election.
If you are weary of rhetoric, arguments, lies, and spin, then you are not alone (can I get an Amen?). These next few letters will be written to you in the context of our cultural moment. I want to be clear: I will not be arguing (and hopefully even alluding to) WHO or WHAT to vote for, but instead, I’ll be sharing perspectives on HOW to BE when our soul is weary in times of conflict.
Hear the good news: You are not that powerful.
Your comment on your old high school friend’s Facebook post will not change his mind. Your 3 sentences will not change 30+ years of cultural, spiritual, and political insights and perspectives. You might be clever, 100% correct, and completely justified, and you still won’t change them or likely anyone else in your feed.
I am not powerful enough to change anyone’s mind with a random comment on a post. And neither are you. So if your motivation is to convince someone they are wrong, enjoy wasting your time, emotion, and energy.
Think of it this way. What would it take for you to cheer for another sports team? If you are an OU fan, think about how unlikely it would be for you to become a fan of the Longhorns. I’m a 49ers fan. Can I imagine cheering for the Cowboys? Nope. How about Cardinals fans cheering for the Cubs? Unfortunately, our politics have become more about loyalty and tribalism than policies and perspectives. There is no Facebook comment you could make that would have me drop my fandom to the 49ers and pick it up for any other team. Fandom is illogical, and fandom combined with political righteousness has led us to this dangerous place.
So, you are not that powerful, so before you post, comment, or argue, check your motive, what are you hoping to accomplish?
Is there a place for us to comment online? Absolutely, but instead of trying to convince, we are called to contribute. One of my mentors, Dr. Arden Autry, made this distinction of the value of contribution over the value of convincing, and I think it’s so true, especially in things that hold high emotional value in others.
Contribute curiosity. Ask genuine questions (maybe even off-line). Try to understand. If you are baffled, then don’t be afraid to say, “Tell me more.”
Contribute clarity. Sometimes we need to clarify something that someone said. Social media is not known for its fact-checking. We can provide graceful clarity.
Contribute perspective. Suppose someone said a restaurant was horrible from their one-time experience, and you’ve been there dozens of times. In that case, there is nothing wrong with contributing, “I’m sorry you had that experience, but my experience with it has been completely different.” We can affirm the experiences of others and offer our experiences and insights that differ.
It’s a wild world out here online. Be careful and contribute well.
Love,
Aaron
👍