Your Unnormal Childhood
#167
Friend,
“Your childhood was normal until the moment you realized it wasn’t.”
I heard this quote from Steve Cuss the other day, and I couldn’t help but think of you. Childhood is a wild experience. You have a unique set of circumstances (even if you have siblings in the same house), and yet you don’t have the social awareness to realize how bizarre it truly was, and how all of us live a childhood greatly devoid of context.
As children, we just live. If we move every 6 months, that’s normal to you. If it’s only mom in the house, that’s normal to you. If you make dinner at the age of 8 for the family, that’s normal to you. If you spend every Saturday at football games, that’s normal to you. If you always go to church, that’s normal to you. If you never go to church, that’s normal to you.
But now, you realize there is no normal childhood. All of us were raised in a bizarre and unique environment. It seemed normal because you couldn’t see anything else, and from where you sit today, you can see the peculiarity of your childhood.
Part of adulthood is interpreting your childhood. I read a quote years ago from Jason Wilson that sticks with me: “Children are great observers and terrible interpreters.” However, as an adult, now is the time to remember, reflect, and redeem your childhood.
Remember- Think through the stories that stick out, the axioms of your family, and the meaning you created from things.
Reflect- Be honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Some of this may need a counselor.) Was what you believed at 11 actually true? Do you realize how proud of yourself you might need to be?
Redeem- How do you want to honor your past for propelling it forward? How do you want to transform your pain into a beautiful way of living forward?
Love,
Aaron
P.S. I think this is true whether your childhood was terrible, adequate, or amazing.
My childhood was semi normal, mom was unhappy and an alcoholic, dad hid his drinking well, both were ACOA’s. Def not unusual for the 50’s -60’s.